Borderline personality disorder?

I have practically no social support, no one that I can talk to and trust. Everyone always ends up hurting me. I hold alll my problems in because I have no one to talk to about them and it's building up and I don't know what to do. I am really scared lately and afraid of everything. I don't trust anyone anymore because everyone stabs me in the back. And I do mean everyone. I started getting a voice inside my head that tells me I'm pathetic and useless and that no one loves me. It says I should run away or kill myself. And sometimes its just a bunch of thoughts all going off at once and I can't make out the words. I feel like I'm not normal anymore and that I'm a freak. Now I'm getting panic attacks and it's even causing me physical pain in areas because of all the anxiety. My family doesn't care and is never there and my friends don't either. I was in my house and all the lights were off and I was going down the stairs but heard a rattling sound at the bottom and somebody breathing and telling me in a taunting voice to cone down the stairs. I didn't because I was afraid he had a knife and would kill me. When I didn't go down the voice started yelling and then stopped and I could hear it breathing loud. I have never had these hallucinations before and it's scaring me. I also saw deer run out in the road and stop dead in front of my car and vanish in thin air that night. Ever since the voices and deer have gone away and no I don't do any drugs at all. Never have and never will. I'm just very scared about all this. I'll be fine and then I very depressed and want to die all of a sudden. Any ideas as to what this is? Or what is causing it?